Moving up and down all at once

So our new house can only be described as an upgrade and a downgrade all in one. First off we have more room, we don't have to deal with the council (who are quite possibly dumber than pond scum) and I have a garden. Now as mentioned earlier I plan to use this space entirely to drink wine and cook meat. Any plant life that chooses to live there does so at its own risk. Here's how it looks from the outside. So this lovely little thing with the green door is our new home! Just to give you an idea of how filthy London is our brick is actually yellow. Mmmm....yummy!

Now for the inside....that's where it gets even worse. Here are some of the worst culprits in all their broken, should be thrown out as soon as possible glory.

All I can say is the girls we bought it from should have saved the £2k they paid to have it painted and made a donation to a blind charity. At least they could have picked better colors. I mean since when has baby sick yellow gone with red carpet and varnished 1980s bad country twee wood detailing? Honestly, the era of bad taste called...they want their house back.

There is only one solution complete and utter destruction. In an homage to music as bad as this decorating....It's Hammer Time.